BAD PARENTING 101.....

I have something to admit, and ask that you think before you judge me, please.
Though I have taken care of myself in some areas, lately there are parts of me, I'm neglecting; feeling frequent uncontrolable waves of emotion and I am simple ignoring it. Last thing I should do is ignore it!

I had a wake up call...and I find myself feeling very ashamed,
I fell asleep on my 2 1/2 yr old preiocus MissK. Let me explain more -
After taking for a breif trip to the pool (weather change and I had to deal with her tantrum of not wanting to get out) We arrived back home and I setup ABC2 and a snack for her whilst I ducked away to steal a quick shower. I felt a bit off colour following, and laid down on the bed..Thats the last thing I remembered..Until waking an hour and a half later MissK sitting so quietly on the couch being the perfect child I wish she would be 24/7 (well one can dream, can't they)

~~~I call my bad parenting - bad parenting 101, almost like i could give classes on bad parenting and how not to, becuase of the experiences I have been through as a mother where I have gone wrong and what I have learnt from my mistakes, if i slip up I normally come out with 'oh gees bad parenting 101'. Probably because at the sametime of admitting it i can also within saying that enable myself to laugh a little brush it off and put it down to 'bad parenting 101' and walk away better for it.

Not today... The only place I went to, was to burst into tears. No matter how hard I tried to stop it and smile I couldn't, the guilt took over. Now before you go jumping to conclusions MissK was perfectly safe but that doesn't change how much in mind how un-exceptable it is for that to have happened. To have looked over at her only made me cry more saying over and over I'm so sorry I fell asleep on you, my sweet girl showed such love in her reply to me as she said "Mummy was tired,asleep". Though I should have taken that and begun to feel better I could not!
I knew I couldn't call MrM (at work) so I texted one of my very close friends and one that knows every one of my true colours, and as she always does, she came through for me. Calling me back in an instant knowing I was crying her first words to me 'you are not a bad mother'. She let me cry for the breifest moment before doing what she knew needed to be done, to snap me out of it and to talk me through the fact that I am not a bad mother, but rather that I have been neglecting important areas like REST.
Before I knew it she had me laughing and forgetting about it all, I smiled on my end of the phone feeling so blessed I have her in my life.

But for the life of me I know one thing, I will try my absolute hardest to never let it happen again, and am starting to realise it needs to come back to me caring about me before anyone else, as I did let it slip to putting me last and it has resulted in well, everything I don't like...

I am sure future blogs will contain more on my bad parenting 101, cause guess what no ones perfect, including me ;)
So when you find yourself feeling burdened by how bad you feel just remind yourself I'm only human and tomorrow will be a better day!
:D

Till next time ~ Mumma Of MissK and the one who truly reveals those cracks in her pavement...